A colleague of mine recently sent me this question:
Question: I am the mother of two teen daughters. My husband is very controlling and I am more permissive. Which is the best way to be these days?
Answer: Over the next few months I will be posting some excepts from my upcoming book: Raising Strong Girls but for the time being I do know this.
1. We tend to over rescue girls and have very different standards when raising boys and girls. It’s important to be fair to girls, knowing parents of boys tend to not keep close track of them. See the Good Man Project on how we should raise boys.
2. Also, Over protection not only teaches learned helplessness but often backfires ….she will hide things eventually…and you compromise the relationship.
3. So the important skill….as always…is to build trust together. Slowly. By following through on promises. Always. And healing broken trust when you can, I would set family guidelines together (I think mine are on my blog)
4. A few others tips…
It’s reasonable to know where your daughter is, who she is with and what they are doing…all the time.
It’s reasonable to expect a parent at home when she is there….until older…and absolutely at any parties.
It’s reasonable to know all friends and their cell phone numbers…and parents home phone numbers.
5. The key…trust your gut…or feminine intelligence!
I am hoping to finish my Raising Strong Girls book soon…so I can send it instead!