I read another column in the Globe & Mail about why women are poor negotiators. Women are apparently good at negotiating for others but not themselves. So although we are apparently good at bargaining, we are not willing to push hard when it comes to us personally.
The article again suggests that women simply need act more like men and be firm. Bargain hard. This, as most women know, does not only feel bad, but often backfires. In my view women know exactly when to push and not to push. They are acutely aware of the subtle punishments for being a bit too assertive and we all walk that fine line, daily. We live in a social world where speaking up, bragging and demanding fair compensation or a promotion is considered bitchy. This is the real deal we women make: We accept less (pay, promotions and other things) in exchange for better treatment or less harsh treatment. My hope is that one day we will not have to make this deal and we will be treated well no matter how much we stand up for ourselves or speak out.
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